What The CEO Hears When The Tech Leader Talks (and it’s not what you think)

I like to talk. I figure if my brain goes to great effort to form a thought, the least I can do is bring it to birth. I’m special that way.

Extroverts and introverts process their world differently. The introvert processes internally. They share thoughts after they think; extroverts process externally, and they think as they share their thoughts. Both have one goal: to arrive at a conclusion. Each has a different starting point: alone or with others. Extroverts misjudge introverts: they assume an introvert is being guarded or isn’t being forthright. Introverts misjudge extroverts: they think an extrovert speaks before she thinks and can’t make up her mind. Once I shed my bias, and know how a person processes information, I am able to have healthier and more productive conversations.

Photo by Markus Spiske

Which brings us to CEOs, who attained their position by being able to take in exorbitant amounts of information, see the implications of details within larger pictures, and learn quickly while being decisive. They also attained their position by learning two great values: time, and being appropriately relational. Effective CEOs want to honor you. They understand the importance of being warm and “on your side.” They also know they have a lot to do, and they assume that you do too.

Whether a CEO is an introvert or an extrovert, there is one habit I have noticed in technology leaders that dishonors the CEO, violates their thinking process, and makes it difficult for them to be warm and accessible: You talk too much.

If you talk too much to an introvert, they don’t have time to process. It’s a pace issue. If you talk too much to an extrovert, they don’t get to process with you. It’s a space issue. Either way, the CEO who is trying to help you finds herself fighting against you.

There is one habit I have noticed in technology leaders that dishonors the CEO, violates their thinking process, and makes it difficult for them to be warm and accessible: You talk too much.

It gets worse. When a leader talks too much to a CEO, here is what the CEO hears:

1. This person is insecure. People use words to cover. Many use words when they are nervous, or use words to bolster a weak point, or to boost one’s image.
2. This person is indecisive. Words are treasure. We have an abundance of them, but the key to the wealth of an idea is to choose the right ones. People who talk too much communicate that they haven’t been able to choose between good and best, so they use a lot of words and hope for the best.
3. This person is ill-prepared. Similarly, right words require time, effort and boundaries. The person who talks too much indicates that they didn’t put in the work to figure out how to best say what must be heard.
4. This person is insensitive. Time is precious and essential to the CEO. Time is what the CEO grants, and it is their prerogative to extend more of it, not endure the loss of it.

What do technology leaders need to do better when it comes to communicating with the CEO?

Here is what I prefer:

1. Be prepared. If you are an extrovert, process your thoughts with others in advance. If you are an introvert, well, you’ve already done so….just don’t overthink it or you will feel the need to say everything instead of the one thing you’ve concluded.
2. Bring questions. Introverts love a good question, and they esteem the one who started them thinking. Extroverts love a good question because it is the springboard to their own talking.
3. Be upfront with your own processing. CEOs challenge. It’s their job. Introverts need to respond with, “I like to give thought to something. May I have a moment before responding?” Extroverts need to say, “I have a number of thoughts. May I think out loud with you for a moment.” The common denominator: it’s a moment.

I said that I like to talk. Words are beautiful. Thoughts are miracles. The ability to communicate sets us apart. It is our dignity. I enjoy when you talk. I am honored that a part of you is given to me.

However. We have had the friend who talks so much our own minds wander while their train of thought derails. I’ve probably been that friend.

As a friend, I am watching out for you. You can have all the skill in the world, but if your CEO is exhausted after talking with you, they won’t be talking with you.

Nothing kills a great resume like overkill.

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